The Heart of Domestic Abuse {Book Review}

The Heart of Domestic Abuse by Chris Moles

I first heard Chris Moles speak on domestic abuse in Lafayette, IN at Faith Baptist Church during a training conference for the ACBC (Association of Christian Biblical Counselors) an organization, which I’m a certified member.

His opening remarks regarding the presence (or even prevalence) of domestic abuse among professing evangelicals took me back to a time early in my ministry when I suggested to my Sr. Pastor that something seemed amiss in a particular family. He replied that I would not want to know half of what went on in the church.

Chris’ comments about domestic abuse in the church line up with what that pastor said. Domestic abuse is not something most pastors want to deal with or even think they are qualified to deal with even if they wanted to.

Therefore, Chris’ book is a needed resource to the church so that awareness is raised about this devastating sin. Chris does more than raise awareness; he provides the biblical tools to deal with abuse.

The book’s content is as follows:

Chapter 1: The Heart of the Matter
Chapter 2: Behaving Badly
Chapter 3: Motives Matter
Chapter 4: Self-worship, Pride, and the Heart of Abuse
Chapter 5: Beliefs
Chapter 6: Power Plays

The first six chapters set the profile of the domestic abuser. The next five chapters serve as a blueprint on how to counsel an abuser. A case study is part of each chapter as Chris gives a real life example of both the profile of an abuser as well as the heart change that is necessary to stop the violence and convert a man to loving his wife as Christ loves the church.

Chapter 7: Good News for a Troubling Subject
Chapter 8: Hope for the Violent Man
Chapter 9: The Mind of Christ: An Alternative to a Violent Heart
Chapter 10: Wanting Something More
Chapter 11: A Call to Authenticity

Five helpful appendixes follow:

  1. Select Scripture References that Speak to Abuse
  2. Behavior Inventory
  3. Advocate Questionnaire
  4. Church Discipline and Abuse
  5. Teen Dating Violence

Chris’ methodology is familiar to any biblical counselor as he stresses the importance of heart change rather than behavioral modification. The book is rich in Scripture-based diagrams, explanations and the use of specific passages.

Chris is a pastor in West Virginia but also works as a certified batterer intervention group facilitator, contributor and instructor with state agencies and local criminal corrections.

I am sure that Chris’ book will be popular in any church that practices biblical counseling and where the pastor(s) are not afraid to counsel their own people.

Chris Moles Website    http://www.chrismoles.org

Discipleship Counseling Book Review

Stop Your Complaining-From Grumbling to Gratitude
By: Ronnie Martin
CLC Publications, Fort Washington, PA 19034

8 Chapters, 126 pages

411GDlVMsYL._SX326_BO1,204,203,200_I purchased this book on the recommendation of Tim Challies on his website as one of the books I wanted to read while recovering from knee replacement surgery. I didn’t think I needed it mind you. I simply thought it would be an interesting read on a discipleship\counseling topic from an author I never heard of. The subject matter is complaining or grumbling and I had thought I do a pretty good job of tapping down that tendency.

After my surgery just as I was starting to read the book I was limping around with a moderate amount of pain when I stubbed my toe on the non-surgical leg. My wife was not home and after a rather normal “that really hurts” yelp I said out loud, “seriously.” No big deal you say? Well, who was I talking to since I was the only one home? The fact is whether or not I was conscience of it at the moment my comment was directed at God.

I was born with genetically bad feet and have struggled with them since the 3rd grade. Over the years, the foot problems has led to knee problems and knee replacements. I’ve had eight surgeries with one to go to try and eliminate the pain  in the feet and knees I’ve had over the years. Ask anyone who has dealt with chronic pain and they will tell you how it wears on you as you just get tired of it-period.

My “seriously” comment was I grumbling to our sovereign God for allowing me to stub my toe on top of a painful knee replacement. I was saying how could you let this happen knowing what I just went through. That’s me on the pity-pot I’m afraid. It was a big deal and I’m ashamed to admit that I privately complain or grumble far more than I’ve ever realized. [Read more…]

Read to Your Children

 

How many books have you read to your children in the last month?  I hope the answer is at least 30, for that is only one a day.  I mean to your children who can’t read or are only beginning to read.  For you older children, how many times are you having them read to you?  Something so simple and yet so huge is too often missed by parents, especially fathers.

I have said it many times but it bears repeating.  Read to your children.  And read good books, fun books and exciting books.  As they learn to read give them books to read.  Turn them loose on the public library until they come home with a stack of books up to their chin.  You will not regret it.

I write this as an introduction to some really good books to own.  Books on the Christian faith for younger children.  A book for children who have come to profess faith in Christ.  An graphic novel type of bible to help even the stubbornest child read. And to introduce you to a great author who writes allegorical books that teens and old, old people will love.

Look over this list, then go buy at least one of them.  But also, if you have come across a really sound book for children post it in the comments.

i believe in jesusHere is a little book to read over and over to your little ones to speak to them of the gospel.

 

 

 

the biggest storyThis is a great book to read with your children.  It takes them from the first garden to the final, eternal garden, a motif often missed in the bible.  It is gospel-saturated and worth your time.

 

 

 

These next few are by R C Sproul and all are worthy of your attention.  A couple of them I have had played in church as Dr. Sproul read his own book.

poison cupindexthe king without a shadowthe lightlingsa donkey and a king

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

action bibleHere is a great bible to have in your home.  It is a graphic novel and yet it is done well and faithful to the Scripture.  We have it in the church’s resource center if you want to check it out.

 

 

 

I cannot tell a lie.  I am a huge fan of N D Wilson.  This guy can write.  The problem I have is that when the next book comes out I buy it, read it in a night and then wait impatiently for him to crank out another one.  This first link is to Amazon.com where all his books are listed.

http://amzn.to/1GwmVvi

But, there are two series that any teen to old person would enjoy that I particularly recommend. They are very subtle allegories like the Narnia tales.  But even more subtle.

leepikeburials100

 

 

 

 

Here are two books that every dad with small children should own.  Cuddle up with your little one and let them hear your voice tell them wonderful stories.  They need it.

fathers and daugthersfathers and sons

 

 

 

 

indexHere is a book that both parent and child will enjoy.  Much doctrine written in such a helpful manner.